Jenna: Hello, happy people, and welcome to Office ADHD.
Still Jenna: Hey, guys.
Jenna Again: Okay, this is probably going to be one of our longer Friday randoms because.
Still Jenna: I have to introduce it to you. So I love just those stories. It’s one of my favorite books, actually. It was pretty funny. The other day somebody said something about Rudyard Kipling on Facebook. I was going to say on the Facebook. And I was like, oh, that’s the.
Jenna Again: Author of just Those stories.
Yup This is Jenna Too: And my sister was like, that’s hilarious, Jenna. Everyone would be like, that’s the author of The Jungle Book. But you’re like, let me pull out this obscure book he’s written.
Still Jenna: But I mean, I actually didn’t know at the time he wrote The Jungle Book. That will show my education level there. Actually, I’m just more educated in non English topics.
Jenna: Thank you very much.
Still Jenna: Anyway, so it was just so funny.
Yup This is Jenna Too: But it’s because I love this book.
Still Jenna: So much and anyway, it’s in the public domain so I can read it to you and share it with you. I’ve got it in the description and.
Jenna Again: I’ll put it on the website so.
Still Jenna: That you can get the link to the entire book. And there’s even an illustrated edition hint.
Jenna Again: By the way, if you are reading.
Still Jenna: It on the computer.
Jenna Again: If you hold control and hit the.
Still Jenna: Plus button, then you can make the text bigger. The other thing that you should know is that Project Gutenberg is amazing. They’re the people that type out and put up a lot of these public domain books so that they’re easy for people to use. So anyway, I’m going to read you the first chapter.
Jenna Again: It’s called how the Whale Got His Throat.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: How the whale got his throat in the sea Once upon a time, oh my best beloved, there was a whale.
Jenna Again: And he ate fishes. He ate the starfish and the garfish and the crab and the dab, and the place and the dace, and the skate and his mate, and the mackerel and the picker roll, and the really twirly whirly eel, all the fishes he.
Jenna: Could find in all the sea he.
Jenna Again: Ate with his mouth. So till at last there was only one small fish left in all the sea, and he was a small stoopfish, and he swam a little behind the whale’s right ear so as to be out of harm’s way. Then the whales stood up on his.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: Tail and said, I’m hungry.
Jenna Again: And the small stoopfish said in a.
Yeah it’s Jenna: Small stoopfish voice, noble and gracious crustacean, have you ever tasted man?
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: No, said the whale. What is it like?
Jenna Again: Nice, said the small stoopfish.
Yeah it’s Jenna: Nice, but nubbly.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: Then fetch me some, said the whale. And he made the sea froth up with his tail.
Yeah it’s Jenna: One at a time is enough, said the stoopfish. If you swim to latitude 50 north.
Jenna Again: Longitude 40 west, that is magic you.
Yeah it’s Jenna: Will find sitting on a raft in the middle of the sea with nothing on but a pair of blue canvas breeches, a pair of suspenders you must not forget the suspenders, best beloved and a jackknife.
Jenna Again: One shipwrecked smariner, who it is only fair to tell you is a man of infinite resource and sagacity. So the whale swam and swam to latitude 50 north, longitude 40 west, as.
Still Jenna: Fast as he could swim.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: And on a raft in the middle.
Jenna: Of the sea with nothing to wear.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: Except a pair of blue canvas breeches.
Jenna Again: A pair of suspenders you must particularly.
Yeah it’s Jenna: Remember the suspenders, best beloved and a jackknife.
Jenna Again: He found one single, solitary shipwrecked mariner trailing his toes in the water. He had his mummy’s leave to paddle or else he would never have done it because he was a man of infinite resource and sagacity. Then the whale opened his mouth back, back and back till it nearly touched.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: His tail and he swallowed the shipwrecked mariner and the raft he was sitting.
Still Jenna: On and his blue canvas breeches and.
Jenna Again: The suspenders, which you must not forget.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: And the jack knife he swallowed them all down into his warm, dark inside cupbards. And then he smacked his lips so.
Jenna Again: And turned around three times on his tail. But as soon as the Mariner, who was a man of infinite resource and Sagacity found himself truly inside the whale’s.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: Warm, dark inside cupboards, he stumped Denny.
Jenna Again: Jumped any, thumped Denny, bumped any princed any, danced any, banged any. Clanged, any hit, any bit and he left any crept, any proud and he howled and he hopped and he dropped.
Jenna Again: And he cried and he sighed and.
Jenna Again: He crawled and he bawled and he stepped and he left and he danced.
Jenna Again: Horn pipes where he shouldn’t. And the whale felt most unhappy indeed. Have you forgotten the suspenders? So he said to the stoopfish, this.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: Man is very nubbly and besides, he is making me hiccup. What shall I do?
Yeah it’s Jenna: Tell him to come out, said the stoopfish.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: So the whale called down his own throat to the shipwrecked mariner, come out and behave yourself. I’ve got the hiccups.
Jenna Again: Nay, nay, said the mariner.
Yeah it’s Jenna: Not so, but far.
Jenna Again: Otherwise take me to my natal shore and the white cliffs of Albion and I’ll think about it. And he began to dance more than ever.
Yeah it’s Jenna: You had better take him home, said.
Jenna Again: The stoopfish to the whale.
Yeah it’s Jenna: I ought to have warned you that he is a man of infinite resource and sagacity.
Jenna Again: So the whale swam and swam and swam with both flippers and his tail as hard as he could for the hiccups.
Jenna Again: And at last he saw the mariners.
Jenna Again: Nadal shore and the white cliffs of Albion. And he rushed halfway up the beach.
Jenna Again: And opened his mouth wide and wide.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: And wide and said, change here for Winchester astronaut Ashua Keene and stations on the Fitchburg Road.
Jenna Again: And just as he said Fitch, the mariner walked out of his mouth. But while the whale had been swimming, the mariner, who was indeed a person of infinite resource and sagacity, had taken his jackknife and cut up the raft into a little square grating, all running crisscross, and he had tied it firm with his suspenders. Now you know why you were not.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: To forget the suspenders.
Jenna Again: And he dragged that grating good and.
Jenna Using Yet Another Voice: Tight into the whale’s throat, and there it stuck. Then he recited the following slok which.
Jenna Again: As you have not heard it, I will now proceed to relate by means.
Jenna Again: Of a grating I have stopped your eating.
Jenna Again: For the mariner, he was also a hibernian. And he stepped out on the shingle and went home to his mother, who had given him leave to trail his toes in the water. And he married and lived happily ever afterward. So did the whale. But from that day on, the grating in his throat, which he could neither cough up nor swallow down, prevented him.
Yeah it’s Jenna: Eating anything except very, very small fish.
Jenna Again: And that is the reason why whales nowadays never eat men or boys or little girls. The small stoopfish went and hid himself in the mud under the door sills of the equator. He was afraid that the whale might be angry with him. The sailor took the jackknife home. He was wearing the blue canvas breeches. When he walked out on the shingle, the suspenders were left behind, you see, to tie the grating with. And that is the end of that tale.
Jenna: As always, thanks so much for listening. And if you want to know more about anything we talked about today, or.
Jenna Again: If you want to be part of.
Jenna: The discussion, join us at officeadhd.com. Thanks so much for listening. See you next time.